Tolerance is a dirty word

Late last night, Editor-in Chief, Darcy Plunkett sent a quick e-mail asking the Chic Mom Mag’ team members to Tweet her latest blog  http://chicmommagazine.com/blogs/four-important-traits sharing her Mother’s Day experience. Darcy wrote of her emotional response and appreciation  to a church sermon-a bit taken as we have yet to publish an article written by an editor that references a specific faith or practice although we often refer to spirit and spirituality.

Living on the East Cost in one of our nations most diverse cities, one quickly realizes how fortunate it is to be surrounded by diversity and welcomed regardless of one’s color, faith or  family structure.  Human relations are based on mutual understanding which can only come from sharing our unique experiences and our personal interpretation of profound moments, like Darcy’s reflection to a Sunday sermon.

Whether you worship in a mosque, temple or like me tend to ponder life during walking meditation, share you insights with others.  Unshared experience only leads to false interpretation of others further building the walls of prejudice.  Those who claim to tolerate the color and or practices of others should reflect deeply on the word “tolerate”.  

I for one find myself tolerating the sound of the legos dropping on the wooden floor above me as my son, Josa,  attempts to find the perfect part to complete his masterpiece-thousands of little pieces crash.  I tolerate the the stench of the subway station on a hot and humid summer afternoon as I struggle through the crowds hoping to get home in time for dinner.

Rather than “tolerate” perhaps we can begin to accept and embrace our neighbors and their children ending a long history of discrimination against those we deem different when in reality we are one.

Women, Motherhood & Disconnect

Once a woman bears a child society’s message is clear-in no uncertain terms is the desire to be anything but mother to this child  short of selfish which conflicts with the multiple choices women have been presented with throughout child and young adulthood.  The caring for a newborn is all consuming as their needs are endless and through the delirium of sleepless nights and fluctuating hormones one quickly comes to the realization that life has forever been changed.

As the unsolicited opinions of others fill your in box, the seed of disconnect is now planted where the angst of motherhood is sure to flourish.  For most, motherhood brings many joys and just as many frustrations as we struggle to find balance between selflessness and selfishness.  The physical and social disconnect from self that occurs durning the transformation to motherhood can be overwhelming.  

Acceptance, soon to become your daily mantra, and continued reevaluation of self becomes your salvation.  Unfortunately, acceptance and reevaluation come with age.  Your thirty’s near over, tired carpooling moms who have dedicated their lives to enriching the lives of their children and the working moms who have struggled to find balance where few men dare wander, awaken to the quiet of the unknown-somehow without intention a woman was lost along life’s journey as mother. 

Challenge yourself  to bridge the “gap of disconnect”-the greatest challenges and times of uncertainty have the highest potential for growth.

 

What about you? Did you find having children to be liberating? Do you still revel in the liberation or do you long for the days when your biggest problem was deciding which college to apply to or whether a certain job would take you down the right career path?Funny thing is, once the kids come along, we get so ensconced in keeping them alive, then optimizing their experience, ensuring their future, that some of us forget ourselves completely. Then that lack of self starts to bother us. And we start to say the same thing about motherhood. “Is this all there is?”

Which leads to the cliche du Jour: How do we find a balance between selflessness and selfishness? How do we find time to keep bettering ourselves while giving such a huge percentage of our time and energy to our children?

What about you? Did you find having children to be liberating? Do you still revel in the liberation or do you long for the days when your biggest problem was deciding which college to apply to or whether a certain job would take you down the right career pathFunny thing is, once the kids come along, we get so ensconced in keeping them alive, then optimizing their experience, ensuring their future, that some of us forget ourselves completely. Then that lack of self starts to bother us. And we start to say the same thing about motherhood. “Is this all there is?”

Which leads to the cliche du Jour: How do we find a balance between selflessness and selfishness? How do we find time to keep bettering ourselves while giving such a huge percentage of our time and energy to our children?

What about you? Did you find having children to be liberating? Do you still revel in the liberation or do you long for the days when your biggest problem was deciding which college to apply to or whether a certain job would take you down the right career path?